Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
