he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
