i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
