nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
