guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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