I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
