Is it because I queefed?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
