I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
