im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
