It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
