just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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