i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
