If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
