You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Your penis caused this!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
