sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
