worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
