My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
a search helicopter?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
