Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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