Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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