Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
