tell your sister to shave her snatch
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
