More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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