im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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