Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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