I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
