The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
