so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
