Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
