Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
