She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I understand Curling. That high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
