This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
