You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
