So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
