I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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