yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
