I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
