I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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