all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
