All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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