We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
