He disabled his match.com account in front of me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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