It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
