i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
