The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if only i could text you this smell
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
