omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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