After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's blow job season.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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