guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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