I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
