Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
