Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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