If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drake has all the answers
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
