Duck Duck Cougar?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
