Small penises have feelings too.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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