I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
