For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
